By Mona Lisa Faris
Founder & President, ConnectComm Magazine
They say two decisions in life determine your happiness. And no, this isn’t just something to ponder over coffee—it’s real, and I’ve seen it firsthand.
One of those decisions is your career. As the founder of ConnectComm Magazine, I’ve helped thousands of people—especially veterans—choose purpose-driven degrees, find careers, and helped them start or grow their businesses. That part? I’ve got you covered.
But the other decision? That’s where things get complicated.
Yep, I’m talking about love.
Let’s talk about dating.
From Mixtapes to Mixed Signals: Then vs. Now
Not to date myself (okay, fine, I’m dating myself), but back in the ‘90s, dating had structure. You meet someone. They ask you out. They pay. If there’s chemistry, you go out again. Then—exclusivity, commitment, maybe even a proposal someday. It wasn’t perfect, but it had a rhythm.
Fast-forward to 2025. My 18-year-old daughter just finished her first year of college, and when I asked her about dating, she sighed and said:
“I wish it was like how it used to be—or at least how it looks in the movies. A guy asks you out, he pays, and if it goes well, you build something. Now it’s all f&%ed up!!!”
Weird is right. She explained how it’s all “talking stages,” “soft launches,” and “situationships.”
Dating Today: A New Language (and a Lot Less Clarity)
Here’s the new dating dictionary, in case you’re not fluent:
- Talking Stage: Basically, texting like you’re into each other but not officially together or committed.
- Situationship: Not just friends, but not a couple either.
- Exclusive: You’re not seeing others…but you’re still not “official.”
- Soft Launch: Posting a vague pic of the person you’re dating (like their sleeve or coffee cup).
- Hard Launch: A full post—tagged, captioned, it’s real now.
- Ghosting: One day, they’re texting, the next…nothing.
- 3-Month Honeymoon Phase: That’s the shelf life before things get “complicated.”
And here’s the part that really blew my mind…
Guys often don’t pay for dinner anymore.
Not because they can’t—but because if they do, they think it means something. And girls? A lot of them would rather pay for themselves, so there’s no pressure to “go home with him.”
Where did the chivalry go?
What’s Really Changed?
Dating today isn’t just digital—it’s disposable.
Thanks to dating apps and social media, people have more options at their fingertips than ever before. And while you’d think more options = more chances at love, the truth is:
“Men don’t settle down because they’re afraid of missing out on something better.”
It’s like a kid in a candy store—why choose one treat when you can sample everything?
This fear of commitment is real. It’s not about finding “the one” anymore. It’s about finding the perfect one—and the chase never ends. That makes it even harder for young women (and men) who genuinely want something real.
Careers and Companions
Let’s go back to those two big decisions.
Your career brings you purpose, growth and independence.
Your partner? That’s your heart, your support system, your life teammate.
Both matter deeply. And both are harder to figure out than ever.
While I’ve built a career helping people find jobs they love, I can’t swipe right for my daughter or guarantee her a healthy relationship. All I can do is listen, guide and remind her (and you) that real connection is still out there—it just may take a little longer to find.
And while figuring it all out, don’t forget to have faith—in yourself, in the process and in what’s meant for you.
Final Thought
Dating has changed, yes. But the longing for love, for something meaningful and secure? That hasn’t.
So, whether you’re choosing a career path or navigating a situationship, don’t forget:
“Don’t settle for what’s easy. Choose what’s worth it. And most of all…have faith!”
You only get one life. You deserve to get both of those big decisions right.
Read more articles for the ConnectComm Community here.